An independent Washington Nationals news, opinion, and analysis site
Home  /  2016 Articles  /  Off-The-Field Recap: Sweeping Up

Off-The-Field Recap: Sweeping Up

2016 Articles Leave a Comment

This week the Nationals swept the Phillies, broke their record for pinch hit home runs in a season (thank you Chris Heisey), and hit the 12 games over .500 mark for the first time this season, but they also practiced voodoo, chopped hair, and…

1. The Nats entered the Twilight Zone that is Citizens Bank Park, and into the clutches of the Phillie Phanatic. Many suffer at the hands of the prank addicted creature (seriously, someone should get him help). In this instance, it was Chris Speier and his backside who caught the eye of the Phanatic. Speier got back at the Phanatic, stealing his keys, but that’s not the only thing that made the resulting GIF so great.

Stephen Strasburg also made an appearance, laughing it up in the background, which naturally spurs the realization that we get to keep watching him break out of his shell until 2023. At this rate of social improvement, he’ll be trying out a comedy routine during postgame press conferences.
2. As the old saying goes, when in Rome do as the Romans do, and, apparently, when in Philadelphia the bullpen should do as New Orleanians do. There’s no evidence that the Nats’ success this week is due to the voodoo magic the bullpen enacted, but there’s no evidence that it didn’t. So, one could, in theory, choose to believe that the relievers magic tricks and jazz hands thrust the team to victories.

3. The envy of every hair model that once sat upon Gio Gonzalez’s head is now in the hands of the good people of Locks of Love. The pitcher posted the certificate of donation and his ex-mane to his instagram, and then showed off his his new ‘do at Monday night’s game.

Gone but never forgotten, Gio’s Once-Great Mane.
4. Anthony Rendon did his part in educating the children of a little league baseball team in D.C. Anytime a Nationals player gets involved with local youth sports, it’s adorable, but this time it might have been even better. Rendon made sure that the nation’s future were incapable of being confused by the plethora of possible favorite players.

If it weren’t for Anthony, a team of children could have grown up without him as a favorite player. Tragedy averted.

4. Virginia Mclauren was just dancing in the White House with the President and First Lady, and on Thursday, she made her way (dancing, I assume) to Southeast D.C. for her first baseball game. Virginia busted out some moves with Dusty Baker pregame, as he presented her with a customer number 107 jersey on behalf of the Nationals.

Virginia, by the way, is 107 years old, and odds are she can shimmy better than every active player on MLB rosters.

5. Max Scherzer is now the sole owner of what I believe to be the only surefire instructions on how to hit a home run. Max posted an instructional book he received from a little fan. That fan not only gave Max a book, but also gave the rest of us the gift of potential pitcher dingers, if all goes according to plan.

Got a book from a big Nats fan.. I now realize in order to hit a home run I have to swing VERRRRY hard! #TurnNBurn

A photo posted by Max Scherzer (@maxscherzer31) on

If this kid can’t teach Scherzer to put one out of the park so we can enjoy a pitcher home run/the purest joy to ever grace the earth, then what do we even watch baseball for?

6. “Are you limpin’ or pimpin’?” is a question that everyone should be asked at least once a day. Its mention here, though, is to serve as a reminder that the Nats have been blessed with the HBIC (Head Baker in Charge), they have long desired. Dusty dances with ageless wonders and gets the most out of a flawed bullpen, what else could a fan or a player possibly ask for?

7. To further prove my earlier hypothesis that children like the author of Max’s book are the only ones who can teach power, Wilson Ramos credited his daughter for his productive day on Sunday. No one can ever tell me TV isn’t productive again.

8. Bryce Harper’s knee might be giving him trouble, but his taste buds and his intagram game are both in tip top shape. Harper has posted nine instagrams in the last week, all with an #aesthetic that would put hipsters to shame. See for yourself:

That’ll do!🐔 #Cincinnati

A photo posted by Bryce Harper (@bharper3407) on

Yes please!🔥 #Cincinnati

A photo posted by Bryce Harper (@bharper3407) on

Started the day off the right way today! #Cincinnati

A photo posted by Bryce Harper (@bharper3407) on

High Street!🙌🏼 #Food

A photo posted by Bryce Harper (@bharper3407) on

“By Deeply contemplating higher aims, we energize ourselves to pursue them.” Gotta love naps! 🙌🏼 #Motivation

A photo posted by Bryce Harper (@bharper3407) on

Well that’s really cool, all sorts of colors! #TieDye

A photo posted by Bryce Harper (@bharper3407) on

Thank you Philly!🙌🏼 #Insomnia

A photo posted by Bryce Harper (@bharper3407) on

Bethesda bagel!🔥 Thanks for always taking care of me fellas #Dupont

A photo posted by Bryce Harper (@bharper3407) on

Night out in DC! #Yards

A photo posted by Bryce Harper (@bharper3407) on


9. Daniel Murphy capped off his May by being named Player of the Month. Sure, Murph has some of the best offensive numbers in baseball with the third highest average through May (min. 200 PA), and has been surprisingly consistent defensively, too. But surely highlights like faking out his former teammate Yeonis Cespedes are what really won him the award.

Last, but probably least, the Tweets of the Week:

Tags: , , , , , , , ,

About Author

Mina Dunn

I watched the Orioles until I was ten when I realized that (most) fans at RFK didn’t shout letters during the National Anthem. I’m a Public Relations and Economics major at VCU, the associate managing editor at TNB, and a sports columnist for a student newspaper. Be my friend on Twitter dot com: @maddc8.

Related Posts

Leave a Reply