The Washington Nationals do on-field stuff. But they also do off-field stuff. Here are those things.
The Washington Nationals gave Max Scherzer a whole lot of offense for his birthday on Thursday, outdoing any birthday present you’ve ever given or gotten. There might even have to be a rewrite on the Twelve Days of Christmas to change the lyrics to “eight home runs… and a pigeon with a great seat.” Knowing that this is the off-field content we live for, the Nationals didn’t stop there.
Thursday was an off-day for the Nationals, so I had far too much time to ruminate about the the relationship status of a professional baseball team. Yes, I am aware that this means my last two posts on The Nats Blog dot com are about assigning (b)romance-related characteristics to baseball relationships, but the Nationals and the Angels truly left me no choice. The two teams packed the most flirting into a two-game series since Alex Rodriguez asked a woman for her phone number during a game in 2012.
Aaron Judge fought his way to the Home Run Derby title and further into our hearts like Rambo with a baseball bat for a machete or like a Great Dane puppy. I still haven’t decided which yet. Gary Sanchez, Cody Bellinger, Miguel Sano — all the contestants contributed to the night-long monsoon of dingers. God bless the long ball, each and every one. That includes the ones from Justin Bour, who put up 22 home runs only to be beaten by Judge’s 23. But what’s really important about the derby, out of all the bombs and player celebrations, is love.
There are two major takeaways from the Nationals this week: 1. They are very good at playing baseball on the western half of the United States. And 2. They are very good at keeping things interesting off the field.
The Nationals are on a mean streak, and that doesn’t even refer to their 7-1 roadtrip. All it took was Bryce Harper’s retaliation to Hunter Strickland being a giant baby for the Nationals to revv up their fire.
Bryce Harper sometimes punches people. Sometimes, he yells obscenities at people. And sometimes, my dear reader, he is choked for it. So, what other way is there to honor him than by fighting with your brother in public donning his jersey? I sure don’t know, and the Ryan brothers don’t seem to have an idea either.
Rob and Rex Ryan were seen at Margaritaville in Nashville in an altercation that looks exactly how you would think a fight between two white guys past 50 would look. As a mormon, a bar fight is the kind of fight Harper is least likely to get in, so Rex did him a solid and checked it off his bucket list for him.
— Cooper Stefaniak (@CooperStef) June 4, 2017
The twins coached for the Buffalo Bills until late December 2016 when they were fired before the team’s final game of the season for failing to make the playoff . Rex didn’t throw his hands on someone’s neck then, though, for some reason (@ Jonathan Papelbon).
In all, decent week for dudes in No. 34 Nationals jerseys who fought people.
There’s nothing quite like narrowly escaping a sweep by the Atlanta Braves to really put life, love, liberty, and the Washington Nationals off-field happenings into perspective.
Oliver Perez: number 46 on the roster, number three or four-ish in our hearts when the situation calls for a lefty specialist, and number one in foul line jumpers. Saturday, the relief pitcher became the number one enemy of rain. As the grounds crew struggled to pull the tarp over the field at Sun Trust Park, Perez, like a baseball James Bond, stepped in.
Continue Reading Oliver Perez Shines in Tarp Application Outing